Let me begin by saying, there is nothing wrong with you. I know you’ve probably heard your entire life that your heart is too big. You love too hard, you hold on too tightly. You fall hard, unconditionally loving the people around you. But isn’t love supposed to be this bright light, this warmth of grace and comfort? And aren’t you the embodiment of just that?
The thing we have to remember, and that we fail to recognize in our society, is that everyone loves differently. Your partner may not have the same kind of resilient love that you possess. Some people have fragile hearts, less likely to commit all of the time. They require more time to heal than others. But if their love is selfish, if they can’t love you when they’re angry, or if they push you so far away that you question their love for you…..is that really love at all? Loving someone unconditionally is defined as, “affection without any limitations or love without conditions.” I think we all long and search for that kind of commitment. We all want to find someone who will see the whole parts of us, and love us anyway. If you are one of the few who loves with this kind of unfailing, unfaltering, beautiful kind of love then you deserve the same love in return.
Granted, there is a flip side. Let’s not forget the old saying of “You can’t love someone unless you love yourself”. There is a level of creating your own happiness, not giving up the things you love for your partner (I struggle with this personally), and not letting your inner peace and happiness become dependent on someone else that is vital to making your relationships work. That’s easier said than done. But our outside influences truly do affect our heart, especially when we have heart ties to people or things. You are free to feel confused or hurt, or uncertain. Finding happiness in yourself does not mean these emotions don’t exist. When you feel them, let them flow through your body. Let them pass through you. Don’t hold onto them, try your best not to dwell. But you should feel those things. Reach inside yourself in those moments of feeling rejected or abandoned, and find the root. Let your heart heal itself the way it needs to so that you can approach your partner, or job, or children with fresh and rejuvenated love.
Never let yourself feel like you have to make your love small to fit other people. Don’t put yourself in this box of “normal” that says you can’t feel all of these amazing, human feelings we have every day. Don’t settle for anything less than the same unconditional love you give to the world. You are the ones who make the world a better place to live in. Your love overflows onto those around you and creates flowers in the gardens of those who have become barren. This world needs your kind of love. Walk in the certainty that you deserve the same kind of love in return, even if that means loving yourself with that incredible, fiery, passionate love you so freely give to others. Love yourself so much that no one else can make you feel small or unworthy. You are a light in this world. Love fiercely and never let anyone take that away from you.
“She slept with wolves without fear, for the wolves knew a lion was among them.” -R.M. Drake